Please Don't Tell Me to Be Strong

Have you ever finally opened up to someone about how much you're struggling, only to hear, "You're strong. You've got this. Everything will be fine"? I know those words usually come from a place of love. I've said them myself. But sometimes, when we're reaching out to someone, we don't need encouragement or another reminder of how capable we are. We need permission to admit that we're having a hard time. I recently came across a quote that stopped me in my tracks: "Never tell a person to be strong when they come to you to be weak." It made me think about how often we rush to reassure people, offer solutions, or encourage them to look on the bright side when all they really want is someone to listen. As a coach, I'm naturally inclined to help people find solutions. But I'm learning that not every difficult conversation needs an action plan. In this episode of Brave Moves, I'm exploring why being the strong one can become exhausting, how our well-intentioned advice sometimes makes people feel unheard, and what it looks like to create space for someone to be vulnerable. I'm also talking about something many of us struggle with: giving ourselves permission to ask for help. Because when you've spent years being the person everyone depends on, admitting you need support can feel incredibly uncomfortable. What if we stopped expecting ourselves and the people we love to be strong all the time? What You'll Hear in This Episode Why telling someone to "be strong" isn't always the comfort we think it is How being the dependable person can make it difficult to admit you're struggling Why we feel compelled to fix other people's problems instead of simply listening The difference between offering reassurance and making someone feel heard How to support someone without immediately offering advice Why asking for emotional support can feel uncomfortable, especially for women who are used to taking care of everyone else A simple question that can change how we show up for people we love Your Brave Move of the Day The next time someone comes to you with something difficult, resist the urge to immediately offer advice or tell them everything will be okay. Instead, ask: "Do you want me to listen, or would it help to talk through some ideas?" Give them the opportunity to tell you what they need. And if you're the one going through a difficult time, practice asking for support without apologizing for it. You might say, "I'm having a hard day, and I could really use someone to listen." Sometimes the bravest move we can make is allowing someone to see that we don't have everything figured out. A Thought to Take With You Being strong doesn't mean never needing help. And being someone others depend on doesn't mean you have to carry everything alone. The next time someone trusts you enough to share their struggles, remember that they may have spent a long time working up the courage to say something. You don't have to fix their pain. Sometimes being there and listening is exactly what they need. Connect with Julie Thank you for listening to Brave Moves, where we explore confidence, self-doubt, habits, and the everyday choices that help us live with greater courage. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who's always been the strong one. And I'd love to hear your thoughts: Have you ever needed someone to listen, but instead felt pressure to be strong? If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. Support the show Why Isn't This Working? Q