249: We’re Not Meant to Go Back: Kimberly Ann Johnson on Motherhood, Menopause, and Embodied Wisdom

In this episode, I speak with Kimberly Ann Johnson, a leading voice in women’s sexuality, embodiment, and nervous system wisdom, about the profound transformations that take place throughout a woman’s life. A sexological bodyworker, birth doula, international teacher, and bestselling author of The Fourth Trimester , Kimberly shares how childbirth challenged her understanding of spirituality, womanhood, and the body. Together, we explore a powerful question: What if the major transitions in our lives are not experiences we need to get through so we can return to who we were, but invitations to discover who we are becoming? Kimberly reflects on her postpartum experience, the physical and emotional challenges that followed birth, and the realization that many of the spiritual and wellness communities she had been part of did not fully account for motherhood or women’s bodies. She shares how discovering the stories of other women helped her understand that she did not have to choose between her spiritual path and being a mother. We also explore the cultural pressure to regain our former bodies and identities, the importance of being supported through life’s thresholds, and why grief deserves space rather than being rushed or avoided. From the postpartum period to menopause, Kimberly invites us to recognize the wisdom of these transitions and to question the narrow expectations that shape how women experience them. Our conversation also explores Kimberly’s forthcoming book, Erotic Seasons: Tuning Into the Rhythms of Women’s Sexuality and Spirituality , and the ways our relationship with sexuality, pleasure, and vitality can evolve throughout our lives. We discuss learning to listen to the body, making room for experiences that do not fit familiar narratives, and recognizing erotic energy as something that can nourish creativity, connection, and a deeper sense of aliveness. Kimberly reminds us that we do not need to measure our experiences against someone else’s expectations. By honoring our changing needs, allowing ourselves to grieve what has passed, and becoming curious about what is emerging, we can cultivate a more authentic relationship with our bodies and ourselves. You’ll also hear about: (02:32) How childbirth challenged Kimberly’s understanding of spirituality, womanhood, and the body (06:24) The lack of support for mothers in spiritual communities and discovering that motherhood and a personal spiritual practice can coexist (08:12) How another woman’s story helped Kimberly release the belief that she had to get everything right to have a meaningful spiritual and personal life (12:00) The pressures women face around their bodies, postpartum recovery, and the expectation to return to a previous version of themselves (19:04) Why the postpartum experience can bring unresolved experiences and generational patterns to the surface (28:03) Rewriting the expectations placed on mothers and recognizing the importance of receiving support rather than doing everything alone (32:00) Making space for grief and the role of communal rituals in helping women move through significant life changes (34:04) Menopause as a threshold into a different way of experiencing life, the body, and our sense of possibility (38:02) An unexpected experience at the hot springs and what it can reveal about our relationship with our bodies and the stories we carry (42:01) Letting go of rigid expectations about the stages of womanhood and making room for our own experiences (46:03) Learning to listen to the body and recognize the wisdom that can emerge when we turn inward (50:01) Understanding pleasure as a foundation for erotic impulse, vitality, and connection (58:03) Why listening to our own bodies matters in a world full of advice, information, and external expectations (01:01:02) The relat