Recording in the Rain Because I Want To - November 04, 2026

Making a choice, making a choice, making a choice to record outside today. And it’s raining. I’m just looking at all of the things outside, and I decided to come outside and record because I just wanted to. I wanted to record somewhere that wasn’t inside and use the energy that I have, right? To share outside. I’ve been feeling an extraordinary amount of delight about recording. Mind you, in this challenge I’m doing right now, which is called NaPodPoMo—National Podcast Post Month —you’re supposed to post something a day, every day, right? For many years before, I’ve known about it, and I just simply haven’t had the capacity to do it, I guess. I wasn’t willing to commit. And plus, I was in the middle of doing a bunch of other things. Now, looking back, some pretty big things happened last year in November to uproot my world, which maybe we’ll get into, because it did all happen. It all went down in November. During that time—October primarily, October and November last year—those were probably the worst times I’ve had in a long time. It was almost as bad—well, I can’t say almost as bad. This was actually worse. That’s what I wanted to say. This was worse than when I was in L.A. and I broke up with acting, and then I also broke up with my ex at that time. That was pretty traumatic, but that was a different type of thing. Anyway, I always say that about a year ago, I really didn’t know if I wanted to be in podcasting. I didn’t know if the podcasting industry was where I wanted to be. I felt caged. Literally caged and muffled. I felt like I could not. Now, looking back, this is what it really was about: I wasn’t being me. I wasn’t being myself. I felt like I was wearing all kinds of clothes that didn’t fit me and presenting something that I wasn’t every day. Not necessarily how I participated within the podcasting industry. My work, front-facing for the podcasting industry, has always remained very much the same. But my everyday existence, my waking up in the morning, my going into my job at the time, my spending my time and attention at that job, was slowly killing me. Literally. Yeah, it kind of really sucked. I really didn’t feel like I wanted to continue podcasting or be in the industry at all. I was so jaded, frustrated, depressed. What is the word when you look around and you can roll your eyes at everything? Like, it was not even real. I know there’s a word. It’s not quite jaded, but it’s around that, right? It’s kind of the same type of vibe. And a year later, I’m sitting out here in the rain because I wanted to record. I wanted to use my voice. I wanted to tell a story. I wanted to send it out via RSS feed. I wanted to. I want to. I want to create this. It’s because I’m finding, again, the magic that is creating audio and distributing via RSS feeds. Just putting it out for its own sake. Not for any strategy. Not because I want to be an expert in the space. Not because I want to create a marketing funnel. Not because of any of those things. It’s because the act of doing this is bringing me joy, and it’s making me happy. The frustration I’m feeling with the creator space overall is based on the fact that we don’t really have agency over our mode of distribution, right? If I want to distribute content or say something random, like I’m saying right now—because this is just random—and I want to put it out into a social media feed, basically any of the social media platforms out there, things have changed. It used to be me putting something out, someone else reading what I say or just randomly finding it, following me wherever or subscribing to my thing, and then wanting to continue following the person and paying attention to what they’re saying. Then developing a relationship. You comment on my stuf