190: You’re Not Healing. You’re Just Obsessed With Fixing Yourself.

Attachment styles, nervous system regulation, shadow work, journaling, manifesting, boundaries, glow ups. At what point does self-improvement stop being self-love and start becoming evidence that you don’t actually like yourself? In this episode, Margarita turns the lens on the self-help world she’s part of and breaks down, with research to back it up, why the obsession with fixing yourself can keep you stuck. She explains the self-discrepancy trap, how perfectionism and comparison erode your self-worth, and why endlessly learning about boundaries is an illusion of progress. Chapters The Self-Discrepancy Trap Perfectionism Experiential Avoidance The Illusion of Progress When Self-Improvement Becomes Procrastination Social Comparison Hedonic Adaptation The Self-Criticism Spiral When Healing Becomes Your Identity Your 2027 Goal: Psychological Flexibility If you have been in healing mode for years but nothing has actually changed, if you know all the theory but cannot seem to do the thing, or if you are preparing to live your life instead of just living it, this one is for you. Join Selfish 30 in December, the last round before a break until later in 2027 Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko To learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.com Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xx See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .