479. Why you're not who you want to be (yet)

Most of us have an idea of the person we would like to become - more confident, more successful, healthier, calmer, more disciplined. But where did that ideal come from? And is it actually ours? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind the real and ideal self, asking what happens when the person we are feels increasingly distant from the person we think we should be. Watch on Netflix: HERE We explore: Where the idea of the real and ideal self comes from The role of congruence for self-esteem and well-being How conditions of worth can disconnect us from what we truly want The difference between Rogers’ real/ideal self and Winnicott’s true/false self How to differentiate your ideal from your ought self How to identify goals to reflect your own values Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @ thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @ thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com Our favourite sources: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jad.12111 https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.94.3.319 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144518301396?via%3Dihub The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.