Ep. 46 I Want A Divorce | An Identity Shift For Midlife Women (Part 1)

"I want a divorce." Maybe you've already said those words out loud, or maybe you're still holding them in your mouth. Either way, if you're in the messy middle of separation, out of the marriage but not yet divorced, this episode is for you. In this episode, I'm talking about the identity shift that happens when "wife" is no longer who you are, and why the in-between stage of separation can feel so disorienting. In Canada, the average age of divorce is now in the mid-to-late forties, and grey divorce has been rising for decades. So if you're a midlife woman going through this, you are far from alone. I haven't been through a divorce myself. What I have done is sit with a lot of women in the middle of separation, and the patterns that come up in that season are remarkably consistent. In this episode, I cover: What happens to your identity after "I want a divorce" Why the messy middle of separation is often harder than the decision or the aftermath Growing apart vs. leaving a marriage that was hurting you, and why both are real reasons Naming gaslighting, financial abuse, and control so you can get your own reality back The grief that shows up even when leaving is the right choice The guilt about your kids and your parents, and the people-pleasing pattern underneath it How rebuilding confidence after divorce happens bit by bit, through your body, not one big reinvention If you've been thinking "I want a divorce" for years, or you've finally said it and now you're wondering who you are, here's what I want you to know. You're not crazy for feeling unmoored. This isn't a breakdown. It's an identity shift, and you get to decide who you become. In Part 2, I go deeper into what happens when the man you married starts to feel like a stranger. If you're not safe right now: in Ontario, call the Assaulted Women's Helpline at 1-866-863-0511 (#SAFE from a mobile), or call 911 if you're in immediate danger. Book your free Identity Shift Call: lesleyturner.ca Related episodes: Why Can't I Just Say No (Breaking the People-Pleasing Pattern) The Good Girl Doesn't Make It Past 40: Four Signs The Emotional Patterns Are Healing Subscribe to The Emotional Truth: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/730IxK6Le9bwgAwKQBbrfM?si=a649923b6d4f4a4b Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-truth-nervous-system-regulation-somatic/id1896858957 Find me on Instagram @thelesleyturner Book a Free 15-min Identity Shift Call Subscribe to the pod: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/730IxK6Le9bwgAwKQBbrfM?si=a649923b6d4f4a4b Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/her-identity-shift-nervous-system-regulation-somatic/id1896858957